My desire is to blog more in 2010 but I realize I had the same desire for 2009. It started out positive with 5 entries in January and then slowly trickled to one entry for some months and no entries for other months.
Maybe I'm not as motivated to blog since I feel like I don't have anything important to say. Or maybe it's because this netbook keyboard drives me nuts. I don't know how to turn off the sensitivity of the mouse so when my hand touches it I find myself typing in a different area of the screen. Annoying =)
Right now I'm sitting at my parents store listening to some Christmas tunes. My family doesn't really have any traditions and my little brother is in Afghanistan so it doesn't really feel like Christmas. But I am still thankful to have my healthy parents,tired but healthy.
Last night I attended midnight mass with Chasity. I've never been to a Catholic church so it was a great experience. I loved the traditional aspect of the service. The place was packed and we ended up standing with a bunch of people on either sides of the pews. You could tell that a lot of the people were probably CEO Christians/Catholics (Christmas/Easter Only) but the fact that people believe in Jesus and are willing to come and give Him glory gives me hope. Especially since Seattle is one of the most unchurched states of America.
And that's what it's really all about. The birth of Jesus. It means so much to someone like me who believes that He came to save my soul, to give me life, and to let me experience a love that I could possibly not know any other way. He gives me a hope to believe in something greater than myself or anything the world has to offer.
So even though Christmas may seem like another day to me in some ways, it also means so much more in others.
Happy Birthday Jesus. Thank you for coming to this world to save us. =)
Friday, December 25, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Destination: Hawaii
"The time is right
I'm gonna pack my bags
And take that journey down the road
Cause over the mountain I see the bright sun shining
And I want to live inside the glow"
-india.arie
I'm gonna pack my bags
And take that journey down the road
Cause over the mountain I see the bright sun shining
And I want to live inside the glow"
-india.arie
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Authentic Relationships.
I remember when I used to love blogging... XANGA! and before that LIVEJOURNAL.
Maybe I feel like I don't have a "voice" anymore. I think that's a longing in the depth of the hearts of everyone. To be heard, to be known.
Something I've been meditating on lately is a phrase I heard while listening to "The Shack" earlier this month. "Authentic relationships are based on submission."
It's natural to cringe when you hear that word "submission" because it may bring negative connotations to your mind. You mean, I am supposed to deny my own needs for the needs of another? That's hard for us as humans. We're all selfish beings looking out for our own best interests.
It's also hard because most times when we've gone there, acted selflessly and made ourselves vulnerable, we've been hurt. Nobody likes to walk into something where they will be left brokenhearted, right?
So maybe we do nice things for people because, "I will feel bad if I don't" or "They will think I'm a bad person/friend/sister/brother/etc" or whatever. It's still not acting submission because it's all about how YOU will feel.
So yeah.. I've been thinking and meditating on that. What's true sacrifice look like?
Maybe I feel like I don't have a "voice" anymore. I think that's a longing in the depth of the hearts of everyone. To be heard, to be known.
Something I've been meditating on lately is a phrase I heard while listening to "The Shack" earlier this month. "Authentic relationships are based on submission."
It's natural to cringe when you hear that word "submission" because it may bring negative connotations to your mind. You mean, I am supposed to deny my own needs for the needs of another? That's hard for us as humans. We're all selfish beings looking out for our own best interests.
It's also hard because most times when we've gone there, acted selflessly and made ourselves vulnerable, we've been hurt. Nobody likes to walk into something where they will be left brokenhearted, right?
So maybe we do nice things for people because, "I will feel bad if I don't" or "They will think I'm a bad person/friend/sister/brother/etc" or whatever. It's still not acting submission because it's all about how YOU will feel.
So yeah.. I've been thinking and meditating on that. What's true sacrifice look like?
Sunday, August 9, 2009
California Recap Part 1 | San Diego
From July 21 - 29 I went to California with my friend Chasity.
I left work around 2pm on Tuesday and my friend Joanne drove me downtown. From there I took the bus to the airport. It was crowded on the bus and with a carry on suitcase and backpack it made it a little hard to maneuver the seats and people but I managed. =)
We flew Jet Blue to San Diego. Jet Blue was nice although those satellite tv's had some trouble working. You can get unlimited # of snacks and they are nice snacks too! We stayed with Chasity's friend Joanna's family. Joanna was already enrolled in med school at UC Irvine and was away in Fresno for the program she is part of.
The Hernandez family, especially Aunty Lupe were the best hosts! We felt right at ease with staying with "strangers" Aunty Lupe took us for a quick night tour of San Diego on the way home from the airport,which was really nice.
Wednesday morning Aunty Lupe made us breakfast, pancakes to be exact. She was so wonderful. Chas and I planned to be living off Luna & Nutrigrain bars on our trip so pancakes were a nice substitution. Since our day started so early (we were up at 7am), Aunty Lupe offered to drive us to the convention center. She drove us by her work first and showed us different parts of the Chula Vista on the way there.
We arrived at the convention center at 8am. The Comic Convention didn't actually start until Thursday but those who bought the 4 days pass were invited to "preview night" on Wednesday. That didn't start til about 4pm but we wanted to stop by to see what the convention center set-up was like. We planned to camp out that night because we knew there were going to be a lot of CRAZY Twilight fans camped out to get good seats for the New Moon panel on Thursday afternoon.
Our plans for the day were to check out the layout for convention center, go to the San Diego Zoo, go to the Invisible Children headquarters and then come back to the convention center and get in line for Hall H where the panel was to be held.
WELL.......
Our plans were canceled when we walked by Hall H and to our horror saw that a line had already formed for Twilight.
Let me rewind a bit, it's WEDNESDAY at 8 o'clock in the MORNING. The New Moon panel wasn't slated to begin until THURSDAY at 1:45 in the afternoon.
The line wasn't that long but there were a good 50-75 people in line already. We decided to go wait in line as well. The line wasn't too bad, it just made me irritated to see people revolve their life around Twilight. I mean, I enjoy it and may be "obsessed" in some people's eyes but I know where to draw the line. Sometimes it's blurry ;) BUT I know where the line is. I'm so glad I backed off Twilight before I came too. I think my head would have exploded if I didn't.
We had to join the crazies to get a decent spot in line. Maybe we turned crazy in the midst of it too. ;)
Chas and I weren't even together for the majority of the day because she was waiting in another line to get her passes for the conference. I took some naps in the hot sun. Luckily I had my umbrella with me. California residents had it easy cause they brought their cars in which they could bring chairs and beach umbrellas.. I had my backpack and a beach towel for the night.
"Why wait in line?" You may be asking...
Well, the auditorium where this panel was to be held seats 6500. There are different panels held throughout the day. If you want good seats, you can chance it by waiting for someone to leave or by getting there early. If you wanted to see something in the afternoon but wanted good seats, it's better to sit through all the panels than try to get in later.
Anywho- some highlights is that we ended up meeting these wonderful people in line, especially these sisters from Texas. They were so nice and southern =) Chas and I were refreshed by them because I could tell they were balanced people and it was nice to be in their company.
So 26 hours later, we were finally let into Hall H at about 10:30am. I had about 4 hours of sleep. I think I was able to keep going because the day was so busy and because of the anticipation of seeing the cast. I think I also concluded that random trips to Vancouver were necessary in the fall. I tried to do the whole "respecting boundaries" thing but that only got me 26 hours of waiting in line with crazy fans and 15 rows back from the cast. Let's see what 4 hours of driving will get me. ;)
Ha ha. I kid....
;)
To Be Continued...
I left work around 2pm on Tuesday and my friend Joanne drove me downtown. From there I took the bus to the airport. It was crowded on the bus and with a carry on suitcase and backpack it made it a little hard to maneuver the seats and people but I managed. =)
We flew Jet Blue to San Diego. Jet Blue was nice although those satellite tv's had some trouble working. You can get unlimited # of snacks and they are nice snacks too! We stayed with Chasity's friend Joanna's family. Joanna was already enrolled in med school at UC Irvine and was away in Fresno for the program she is part of.
The Hernandez family, especially Aunty Lupe were the best hosts! We felt right at ease with staying with "strangers" Aunty Lupe took us for a quick night tour of San Diego on the way home from the airport,which was really nice.
Wednesday morning Aunty Lupe made us breakfast, pancakes to be exact. She was so wonderful. Chas and I planned to be living off Luna & Nutrigrain bars on our trip so pancakes were a nice substitution. Since our day started so early (we were up at 7am), Aunty Lupe offered to drive us to the convention center. She drove us by her work first and showed us different parts of the Chula Vista on the way there.
We arrived at the convention center at 8am. The Comic Convention didn't actually start until Thursday but those who bought the 4 days pass were invited to "preview night" on Wednesday. That didn't start til about 4pm but we wanted to stop by to see what the convention center set-up was like. We planned to camp out that night because we knew there were going to be a lot of CRAZY Twilight fans camped out to get good seats for the New Moon panel on Thursday afternoon.
Our plans for the day were to check out the layout for convention center, go to the San Diego Zoo, go to the Invisible Children headquarters and then come back to the convention center and get in line for Hall H where the panel was to be held.
WELL.......
Our plans were canceled when we walked by Hall H and to our horror saw that a line had already formed for Twilight.
Let me rewind a bit, it's WEDNESDAY at 8 o'clock in the MORNING. The New Moon panel wasn't slated to begin until THURSDAY at 1:45 in the afternoon.
The line wasn't that long but there were a good 50-75 people in line already. We decided to go wait in line as well. The line wasn't too bad, it just made me irritated to see people revolve their life around Twilight. I mean, I enjoy it and may be "obsessed" in some people's eyes but I know where to draw the line. Sometimes it's blurry ;) BUT I know where the line is. I'm so glad I backed off Twilight before I came too. I think my head would have exploded if I didn't.
We had to join the crazies to get a decent spot in line. Maybe we turned crazy in the midst of it too. ;)
Chas and I weren't even together for the majority of the day because she was waiting in another line to get her passes for the conference. I took some naps in the hot sun. Luckily I had my umbrella with me. California residents had it easy cause they brought their cars in which they could bring chairs and beach umbrellas.. I had my backpack and a beach towel for the night.
"Why wait in line?" You may be asking...
Well, the auditorium where this panel was to be held seats 6500. There are different panels held throughout the day. If you want good seats, you can chance it by waiting for someone to leave or by getting there early. If you wanted to see something in the afternoon but wanted good seats, it's better to sit through all the panels than try to get in later.
Anywho- some highlights is that we ended up meeting these wonderful people in line, especially these sisters from Texas. They were so nice and southern =) Chas and I were refreshed by them because I could tell they were balanced people and it was nice to be in their company.
So 26 hours later, we were finally let into Hall H at about 10:30am. I had about 4 hours of sleep. I think I was able to keep going because the day was so busy and because of the anticipation of seeing the cast. I think I also concluded that random trips to Vancouver were necessary in the fall. I tried to do the whole "respecting boundaries" thing but that only got me 26 hours of waiting in line with crazy fans and 15 rows back from the cast. Let's see what 4 hours of driving will get me. ;)
Ha ha. I kid....
;)
To Be Continued...
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Sisterhood.
I am incredibly blessed to be part of a women's leadership group that meets bi-monthly. It's a place where each of my friends can come as they are and be at a level of vulnerability where God can heal and bring freedom into our hearts.
My pastor once said that small groups can bring three levels of honesty; honest, more honest, and most honest. I think my group is the latter.
I have come to acknowledge that this is group is truly a gift. Not everyone is given this and I really wish every woman was able to experience this gift of friendship.
About a month ago we had a guest come and speak to our group about the sisterhood. It resonated in my heart and I wanted to write about it.
The value of the sisterhood comes from Titus 2:1-5.
You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Here, "older women" does not necessarily mean age but spiritual maturity. The key here is to spur each other on to give God the glory.
There are three obstacles that block the way of the sisterhood:
1.) Envy - feeling of resentment & jealously towards others because of another's possession or good fortune/talents.
2.) Jealously - constant desire to excel other people & keep their admiration.
3.) Covetousness - intense desire to possess something or someone that belonts to another person; aka idolatry (Col 3:5, 1 Cor 5:10-11)
My pastor once said that small groups can bring three levels of honesty; honest, more honest, and most honest. I think my group is the latter.
I have come to acknowledge that this is group is truly a gift. Not everyone is given this and I really wish every woman was able to experience this gift of friendship.
About a month ago we had a guest come and speak to our group about the sisterhood. It resonated in my heart and I wanted to write about it.
The value of the sisterhood comes from Titus 2:1-5.
You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Here, "older women" does not necessarily mean age but spiritual maturity. The key here is to spur each other on to give God the glory.
There are three obstacles that block the way of the sisterhood:
1.) Envy - feeling of resentment & jealously towards others because of another's possession or good fortune/talents.
2.) Jealously - constant desire to excel other people & keep their admiration.
3.) Covetousness - intense desire to possess something or someone that belonts to another person; aka idolatry (Col 3:5, 1 Cor 5:10-11)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Freedom.
When God wants to call you out of something, He will put you into situations and circumstances to bring that issue out. You either have the choice to stay a victim to it or to gain freedom from it.
For me, the lesson lately has been gaining freedom from rejection and insecurity. There was a couple in my church that married this past Saturday. It seemed like all my friends were invited except for me. Although I was curious as to why I wasn't invited seeing as I've been friends with the groom for a long time I just brushed it off. I felt a little crappy about feeling "left out" but shrugged it off.
During the week before the wedding I was at work (I work in a printing department) and a customer came in with what looked like wedding prints. It turns out that the customer was the aunt of the bride of the couple that goes to my church and she needed help printing the programs for the wedding.
I thought, "God, why are you rubbing this in my face?"
The feelings of bitterness arose again and I saw that my heart was being exposed for what it was. I was bitter that I wasn't invited to the wedding and sadly it was more out of my hurt and pain of feeling left out than for wanting to celebrate the couple in their holy union.
So, it turned out there were formatting issues with the programs and we had the customer come in the next two days as we fixed the programs. Although my manager would take over with working on the job, somehow it would always end up back on my plate. The aunt was very nice but I could feel the selfishness in my heart give myself a negative attitude.
Isn't it funny that when you have a negative attitude about something you can just speak negative things? I would think to myself negative things about the couple (Hey, just keepin' it real) and that spirit of rejection and insecurity would justify itself.
As I was working on finishing up the programs by folding it I felt God ask, "would you still be willing to serve this couple even if you didn't gain anything from it?"
Yikes.
Talk about conviction.
I prayed, "Lord, forgive me for my attitude. I repent for thinking and acting out of my own hurt and pain. Bless this couple on their marriage. I pray that this time for them is full of happiness and joy."
There was a reason why the programs needed three days to work on. Had everything worked out the first day, I would not have learned what God wanted me to and gained more freedom from the feeling of rejection and insecurity. God loves us so much that although He loves us where we're at, He never wants to leave us the same. He wants us to gain freedom from those scars that come across our hearts along this journey of life. Sometimes as Christians we can have this sense of hopelessness in mindsets from our past but life as a child of God isn't intended to be lived that way.
The more we seek Christ and His Word, the more the truth will set us free.
For me, the lesson lately has been gaining freedom from rejection and insecurity. There was a couple in my church that married this past Saturday. It seemed like all my friends were invited except for me. Although I was curious as to why I wasn't invited seeing as I've been friends with the groom for a long time I just brushed it off. I felt a little crappy about feeling "left out" but shrugged it off.
During the week before the wedding I was at work (I work in a printing department) and a customer came in with what looked like wedding prints. It turns out that the customer was the aunt of the bride of the couple that goes to my church and she needed help printing the programs for the wedding.
I thought, "God, why are you rubbing this in my face?"
The feelings of bitterness arose again and I saw that my heart was being exposed for what it was. I was bitter that I wasn't invited to the wedding and sadly it was more out of my hurt and pain of feeling left out than for wanting to celebrate the couple in their holy union.
So, it turned out there were formatting issues with the programs and we had the customer come in the next two days as we fixed the programs. Although my manager would take over with working on the job, somehow it would always end up back on my plate. The aunt was very nice but I could feel the selfishness in my heart give myself a negative attitude.
Isn't it funny that when you have a negative attitude about something you can just speak negative things? I would think to myself negative things about the couple (Hey, just keepin' it real) and that spirit of rejection and insecurity would justify itself.
As I was working on finishing up the programs by folding it I felt God ask, "would you still be willing to serve this couple even if you didn't gain anything from it?"
Yikes.
Talk about conviction.
I prayed, "Lord, forgive me for my attitude. I repent for thinking and acting out of my own hurt and pain. Bless this couple on their marriage. I pray that this time for them is full of happiness and joy."
There was a reason why the programs needed three days to work on. Had everything worked out the first day, I would not have learned what God wanted me to and gained more freedom from the feeling of rejection and insecurity. God loves us so much that although He loves us where we're at, He never wants to leave us the same. He wants us to gain freedom from those scars that come across our hearts along this journey of life. Sometimes as Christians we can have this sense of hopelessness in mindsets from our past but life as a child of God isn't intended to be lived that way.
The more we seek Christ and His Word, the more the truth will set us free.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Word.
"In hell there are no relationships.. growing in Christ is ALL about relationships" -Athena
If you think about it, it's kind of true. You can't truly grow to the fullest extent in a relationship that is based on pure selfishness, right?
Friendships are hard. The more risk you take in making yourself vulnerable, the more risk there is to getting hurt but at the same time the more guarded you are the less likely you will really develop something deep and meaningful.
........to be continued
If you think about it, it's kind of true. You can't truly grow to the fullest extent in a relationship that is based on pure selfishness, right?
Friendships are hard. The more risk you take in making yourself vulnerable, the more risk there is to getting hurt but at the same time the more guarded you are the less likely you will really develop something deep and meaningful.
........to be continued
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
History.
So, Nicholei, what did you do while your new president was being sworn in?
A. Why, I was working, of course!
lame. so lame. =P
A. Why, I was working, of course!
lame. so lame. =P
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Blogs
My favorite blog is: http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com
This blogger is an amazing woman who is gifted in communicating her life stories in such a way that speaks to the heart.
She began her blog in January 2008 a couple days after finding out that her 4th child would not live past birth. She carried her child until April when she was born. Her daughter, Audrey Caroline, only lived a couple hours before she went to be with the Lord. That in itself was a miracle from God that her sweet daughter was able to spend a few moments here on earth. Angie has blogged since January about the heartache, the anger, the questions, and the love of our Lord and Savior. Many have come along with her on this journey, some finding refuge in her story while battling the same circumstance.
January 7, 2008 was when she was told the sad news about her daughter. In 2009, Angie's best friend Audra was due around the 7th of this year and I among many others hoped with Angie that maybe God would bring joy with the birth of Audra's baby on a day that held sad memories. I remember praying on my way to work last Wednesday, first that God would heal Angie's heart that morning and also that His presence would fill her heart. When the 7th came and passed with no sign of Audra giving birth, I felt a little disappointed. Couldn't the sorrow of January 7, 2008 be replaced with joy this year?
I follow Angie on Twitter and last night she alerted her "Sundays" to pray for Audra because she was in labor. I remember praying that God would bring healing to Angie in the birth of Audra's baby girl and that He would speak to her. About a half hour later Angie updated that Audra's baby girl had entered this world and that God had revealed something to her about it all.
Well, I just read Angie's blog and I am just so amazed at God's hand in our lives. Little Aliza was born on the very day that Angie began her blog, January 12. He spoke to Angie that HE is the author of new beginnings. It never looks like the way we want it to but God ALWAYS shows up in HIS time - never ours. He is in everything. =)
This blogger is an amazing woman who is gifted in communicating her life stories in such a way that speaks to the heart.
She began her blog in January 2008 a couple days after finding out that her 4th child would not live past birth. She carried her child until April when she was born. Her daughter, Audrey Caroline, only lived a couple hours before she went to be with the Lord. That in itself was a miracle from God that her sweet daughter was able to spend a few moments here on earth. Angie has blogged since January about the heartache, the anger, the questions, and the love of our Lord and Savior. Many have come along with her on this journey, some finding refuge in her story while battling the same circumstance.
January 7, 2008 was when she was told the sad news about her daughter. In 2009, Angie's best friend Audra was due around the 7th of this year and I among many others hoped with Angie that maybe God would bring joy with the birth of Audra's baby on a day that held sad memories. I remember praying on my way to work last Wednesday, first that God would heal Angie's heart that morning and also that His presence would fill her heart. When the 7th came and passed with no sign of Audra giving birth, I felt a little disappointed. Couldn't the sorrow of January 7, 2008 be replaced with joy this year?
I follow Angie on Twitter and last night she alerted her "Sundays" to pray for Audra because she was in labor. I remember praying that God would bring healing to Angie in the birth of Audra's baby girl and that He would speak to her. About a half hour later Angie updated that Audra's baby girl had entered this world and that God had revealed something to her about it all.
Well, I just read Angie's blog and I am just so amazed at God's hand in our lives. Little Aliza was born on the very day that Angie began her blog, January 12. He spoke to Angie that HE is the author of new beginnings. It never looks like the way we want it to but God ALWAYS shows up in HIS time - never ours. He is in everything. =)
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
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