Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Every Relationship is a Lesson - India.Arie
Besides the Bible, this quote from India.Arie is something that I am always applying to my life.
This past year has been a tough season for me with close friendships. In the times of pain and even times of loneliness, I asked God, what lesson am I learning? The biggest one was that loneliness is something that is always going to be felt no matter how close someone can be to you. I can come home from a night of great fellowship with awesome people and still feel lonely. And something tells me that loneliness doesn't go away even when married. No human person can ever fill that void like God can. Sometimes we are to quick and run in all these different directions to fill that void, whether it's to people or other things - but if we just, "be still and know that HE is God," how much more would the Father lavish His Love over us and fill that void we were trying to fill on our own?
Well - that wasn't even the point of this entry - but I guess I needed a revelation about being still in Him.
What I wanted to talk about was having faith in friends.
It's easy for me to have hope for people who don't know the Lord but not so easy when it is a friend who you thought you were on the same page with [Christianese term would be a "backslider (ew! I don't think I like that term)].
I was hurt by a friend who I felt I didn't even know anymore and instead of fighting for her, petitioning for her, and believing that God could restore her, I kind of had this, "oh well" attitude. I think that there are consequences to making bad choices but I failed to love her where she was at at times because I was busy wallowing in my pain and sorrow of someone I felt I lost. It's been a long process and God has taught me so much through this friendship.
People make mistakes. People...no - BROTHERS and SISTERS stumble and fall sometimes - WE all stumble and fall sometimes and I know that I have lacked the grace in loving those people where they're at. Of course there is a balance of speaking truth and rebuke but I believe that if the Holy Spirit is in them - they already have heard the truth because God's truth is loud when we get entangled with sin or whatever that is it keeping us from the Lord. And my job is to love them where they are at. Unfortunately, sometimes, sooner or later that voice is so suppressed they don't hear God's truth anymore - and maybe that's where we, as brothers and sisters are to step in and guide.
BUT you can only help as long as they want and ask for it. I knew the choices that my friend was making led her to close her heart - and I no longer had a place to speak into it. Instead of fighting on her behalf, I would just kind of say, "Well, she's just not making the right choices right now," when others would ask how she was. Instead, I should have said, "You should call her and ask her, I know she would really appreciate it if she heard from you"
Just as I felt convicted of how I felt and that I it was time to share with my friend about how she had hurt me and how I in turn had hurt her by not honoring her in front of other people, God was also working on her heart.
HE is greater than I could ever imagine - and it's in moments like this that He reminds me of just that.
We met up and before I could apologize for what I did, she apologized for hurting me and confessed that she had been living selfishly for the past year. She told me that she saw that I grew and matured as a person and felt sad that she missed out on that (Part of the reason I grew was from the tough season of our friendship). She then encouraged me with words she felt God speak to her about in her quiet times. I apologized to her for what I did by not honoring her in front of others. (Waiting on God's timing -another entry to journal about.... coming soon - to a blog near you!)
God is good. And when we lack faith in things - He shows us how to have greater faith.
I was reminded of this song by Stacie O called "Strong Enough." She wrote it when she witnessed a friend go through a tough time in his life and basically did not have any support from the church. It reminded me that no matter how hard we fall, how bad we stumble, that there is a God who loves us unconditionally and a Savior who came who gave His life to wash our sins away and make us whole. Why then, as His people do we sometimes push people away who need Him most by rejecting and judging them or whatever it may be that doesn't show love?
Here are the lyrics....
As I rest against this cold hard wall, oh will you pass me by?
Will you criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that all my battles had been won
Only to find the war had just begun
Chorus:
Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out and start again.
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again
Will my weakness for a hour make me suffer for a lifetime?
Is there any way to be made whole again
If I be renewed and find forgiveness by the strength I've never had
Will my scars forever ruin all God's plans?
Chorus:
Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out and start again?
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again
He took my life into His hands
And turned it all around
In my most desperate circumstance, is there I'm finally found
That You are strong enough
That You are pure enough
To break me, pour me out and start again
That You are brave enough
To take one chance on me,
Oh thank You for my chance to start again
This past year has been a tough season for me with close friendships. In the times of pain and even times of loneliness, I asked God, what lesson am I learning? The biggest one was that loneliness is something that is always going to be felt no matter how close someone can be to you. I can come home from a night of great fellowship with awesome people and still feel lonely. And something tells me that loneliness doesn't go away even when married. No human person can ever fill that void like God can. Sometimes we are to quick and run in all these different directions to fill that void, whether it's to people or other things - but if we just, "be still and know that HE is God," how much more would the Father lavish His Love over us and fill that void we were trying to fill on our own?
Well - that wasn't even the point of this entry - but I guess I needed a revelation about being still in Him.
What I wanted to talk about was having faith in friends.
It's easy for me to have hope for people who don't know the Lord but not so easy when it is a friend who you thought you were on the same page with [Christianese term would be a "backslider (ew! I don't think I like that term)].
I was hurt by a friend who I felt I didn't even know anymore and instead of fighting for her, petitioning for her, and believing that God could restore her, I kind of had this, "oh well" attitude. I think that there are consequences to making bad choices but I failed to love her where she was at at times because I was busy wallowing in my pain and sorrow of someone I felt I lost. It's been a long process and God has taught me so much through this friendship.
People make mistakes. People...no - BROTHERS and SISTERS stumble and fall sometimes - WE all stumble and fall sometimes and I know that I have lacked the grace in loving those people where they're at. Of course there is a balance of speaking truth and rebuke but I believe that if the Holy Spirit is in them - they already have heard the truth because God's truth is loud when we get entangled with sin or whatever that is it keeping us from the Lord. And my job is to love them where they are at. Unfortunately, sometimes, sooner or later that voice is so suppressed they don't hear God's truth anymore - and maybe that's where we, as brothers and sisters are to step in and guide.
BUT you can only help as long as they want and ask for it. I knew the choices that my friend was making led her to close her heart - and I no longer had a place to speak into it. Instead of fighting on her behalf, I would just kind of say, "Well, she's just not making the right choices right now," when others would ask how she was. Instead, I should have said, "You should call her and ask her, I know she would really appreciate it if she heard from you"
Just as I felt convicted of how I felt and that I it was time to share with my friend about how she had hurt me and how I in turn had hurt her by not honoring her in front of other people, God was also working on her heart.
HE is greater than I could ever imagine - and it's in moments like this that He reminds me of just that.
We met up and before I could apologize for what I did, she apologized for hurting me and confessed that she had been living selfishly for the past year. She told me that she saw that I grew and matured as a person and felt sad that she missed out on that (Part of the reason I grew was from the tough season of our friendship). She then encouraged me with words she felt God speak to her about in her quiet times. I apologized to her for what I did by not honoring her in front of others. (Waiting on God's timing -another entry to journal about.... coming soon - to a blog near you!)
God is good. And when we lack faith in things - He shows us how to have greater faith.
I was reminded of this song by Stacie O called "Strong Enough." She wrote it when she witnessed a friend go through a tough time in his life and basically did not have any support from the church. It reminded me that no matter how hard we fall, how bad we stumble, that there is a God who loves us unconditionally and a Savior who came who gave His life to wash our sins away and make us whole. Why then, as His people do we sometimes push people away who need Him most by rejecting and judging them or whatever it may be that doesn't show love?
Here are the lyrics....
As I rest against this cold hard wall, oh will you pass me by?
Will you criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that all my battles had been won
Only to find the war had just begun
Chorus:
Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out and start again.
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again
Will my weakness for a hour make me suffer for a lifetime?
Is there any way to be made whole again
If I be renewed and find forgiveness by the strength I've never had
Will my scars forever ruin all God's plans?
Chorus:
Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out and start again?
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again
He took my life into His hands
And turned it all around
In my most desperate circumstance, is there I'm finally found
That You are strong enough
That You are pure enough
To break me, pour me out and start again
That You are brave enough
To take one chance on me,
Oh thank You for my chance to start again
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