A Father's Love

About a month ago a long time friend broke the news that she was pregnant. It's kind of funny how that can be a happy thing or a bad thing. Usually it's a happy thing when it's within a marriage and not when it happens out of marriage. I'm not saying that babies aren't blessings because they totally are but there's a reason why I believe it was created and designed to happen within a marriage between two people who love each other.

My friend has been regretting the day where she would have to tell her father. Her mom has been out of the picture for most of her life and her dad is the one that's been there. I didn't fluff up her emotions and told her that although her dad would be disappointed, he was still her dad no matter what. I also offered to support her if she needed someone to be there when she broke the news. I mean, he loves me, what can I say. ;)

A few days ago she asked if I was busy on Friday. She wanted to finally tell her dad. We met up and as we drove to her dad's place she was freaking out. She was scared he was going to disown her, kick her out of his place right then and there, scream and go crazy. I couldn't picture any of that happening because it just isn't his character.

We kind of caught up on life and just chatted about different things, her brother's new girlfriend, her dad's new church he was attending, her dad's dreams of moving to the Pacific islands, etc. My friend texted me that she couldn't do it and that I would need to lead her into telling him the news. About two hours later we finally did and I was surprised at how everything turned out.

He kind of knew already.. and guessed before she even told him. He said that between her mood swings and sensitivity the past couple of weeks - he kind of already had that thought in the back of his mind.

The reason I wanted to share this story was because I was in such awe of a father's love for his daughter and how God orchestrated all of this in His timing. Because he had that thought, his heart was almost prepared to take the news. It's not easy hearing that your daughter is pregnant with a guy she's not married to or dating for that matter.

He just sort of took everything in and said that he's learned too many times that it's better to soak it in and reflect rather than speak all the emotions you're feeling in that moment. He was going to be meeting up with one of his good friends the next morning which is another reason why I believe it was God's timing. They usually meet every month but hadn't seen each other since September. With the big news, he was going to need a confidant, encourager, and counsel from his close friend.

Having a lot of young families in my church I've seen friends use godly parenting on their young children but it was different seeing it from someone who could actually be my parent. There was one point in our conversation that my friend was concerned about who her dad was going to tell (just his close confidants) and how they would view her. Her dad reminded her of how she's always struggled with feeling the need to make people happy but that the only happiness she needed to be concerned about was her own.

And as she was telling her dad about her plans and how she wanted to raise her child she shared her concern about not wanting to ever make her child feel like they weren't wanted because they weren't planned. She said she felt that way because her mom had told her, "we didn't even want you, you weren't planned" Her dad corrected her and told her that he remembered the day that his wife had told him that she was pregnant with my friend. It was a Wednesday and it was right before he had to leave to lead the youth group. He was SO excited and shared the news with a friend when he got there. His friend lifted him on his shoulders and said, "Hey everyone, look who's going to be a dad!!"

LOVE.
Unconditional love.

As we left that night, my friend's dad reminded her that nothing could ever change or take away his love for her.

I know how easy it is to feel like this in our Christian walks. We know better, we mess up and we're too scared to come to God. We feel like he'll withhold his love or maybe he'll take back the salvation he gave us. Maybe we feel like we need to take control and somehow fix ourselves up before we could even go back to him or that we have to have it all together. But of we simply come, repent, and seek His heart, we'll find Him, an unconditional loving father.