Can't Sleep---

Since I have not been working the past couple of weeks I have been going to bed really late and getting up past 11.
Oops.
I am going back to work tomorrow and I can't go to bed even though it's 2am. =(
Anyway,
I used to blog a lot in the past but I feel like I do not really have anything worth writing about. Gosh- I wish I did not delete my last two Xanga blogs.

Yesterday's episode of Oprah showcased love stories. Grant Hill and his wife Tamia were guests on the show. Man, Grant seems to have a lot of character and integrity. He has two little girls and he talked about how it is important to him that he shows his wife the utmost respect in front of his daughters because he wants them to see a healthy relationship between a man and woman. He wants his girls to grow up knowing their worth.

I was thinking about relationships that some of my friends are in right now. It seems like it was the girl who did most of the initiating. It's like they had to spell it out for the guy before things happened. Are guys that dense? On the other hand, I know of some guys who have actually shared their feelings to girls and have been let down so that can be hard too. I wouldn't want to be in that vulnerable state of sharing my feelings towards a guy and taking that risk of being rejected. Yikes!!!

Moving on.....

I've been thinking about friendships lately, particularly friendships (or the lack thereof) when someone leaves the church. They are definitely harder to maintain because you're not seeing that person as much in your normal sphere of things - so that makes me realize how important some people are to me.

My friend hasn't been to church for a long time. I think when she first stopped coming she reaized that the friends she thought she had weren't really her friends at all. No one called or contacted her to see how she was doing or even to hang out. Suddenly the friends who weren't Christians were the ones who showed more love towards her than her so called Christian friends. And.. I know my duty as her friend isn't to tell her what I think she should or shouldn't be doing based on the morals we both know to be true but to simply love her where she's at.

I think that the Holy Spirit still lives in those who drift away from the Lord and they don't have total peace in them when they are living in sin. And there is nothing worse than the presence of a Christian to make the awareness of their sin more alive to them. Instead of recognizing it as such, they think that that Christian is judging them or is going to judge them for their current lifestyle. And maybe it's because there have been people in the past who DO judge others for the way they are living and they try to "help" them by not letting them forget how "bad" they are.

I'm just really learning to love people where they're at in life despite where I think they should be at or where I expect them to be at. It's hard though. Especially when it's someone that is close to you. How do you deal when you feel like you've got a friend who's running that race along side you and you turn to see they're running the wrong way? You keep trying to guide them back but they keep going farther and farther away from you?

Ok.. sleep time.